You dance over me, while I am unaware. You sail all around but I never hear the sound.

People surprise me, although they shouldn't they do.  I seem to have a  hard time grasping the fact that people can be crude and hurtful.  I really sometimes beleive that God puts people in our lives as a test of love and commitment to Him, or atleast that is what I hpoe this is.
I somestiems have the feeling that I am not trying hard enough but how do you help someone who doesn't want your help and really doesn't want you at all.  I mean at the same time I feel compelled to help but she hates me and I know that.  I guess it is simple to say that I have a hard time with someone hating me.  At the same time I am not sure why I don't hate her and cause the old me would and there are times I still want to but I can't.  I know that God doesn't want anyone to hate anyone.  I am not sure why I am questioning me not hating her I guess I should feel blessed that I don't. 
All I ever hear is that things would be different If you just did this.  I know that truth that even if I changed one thing then it would be another cause she would expect it from me.  I am not sure why I am looking to gain excceptance from someone who does not understand me anyway.  But why don't I hate her like she does me?
I just need to know